You must have heard or read a few things about people who are the best at what they do. You might have noticed a pattern if you read about many successful people. This pattern, if you notice, might push you to learn how to be disciplined yourself.
Many people who achieve big dreams are talented, some have coaches who are their parents, and most importantly, many are extremely disciplined. So, if you’re like me, you might ask, how can one become disciplined?
First, Let’s Specify Role Models
Of course, many who achieve the biggest thing in their career or work see things differently. Charles Bukwoskis thinks if you are not enjoying writing, maybe it’s not what you should be doing. In that case, his view on discipline is slightly different.
But he is disciplined… he only happened to like the work he does that it doesn’t seem hard for him to sit down and type his craft. (It doesn’t look like being disciplined to him, writing a bunch of boring things, and working at it, and trying again and again; for him, it all looks like a fun experiment, not work.)
Writing isn’t work at all… And when people tell me how painful it is to write I don t understand it because it’s just like rolling down the mountain you know. It’s freeing. It’s enjoyable. It’s a gift and you get paid for what you want to do.
“I write because it comes out — and then to get paid for it afterwards? I told somebody, at some time, that writing is like going to bed with a beautiful woman and afterwards she gets up, goes to her purse and gives me a handful of money. I’ll take it.”
Charles Bukwoski
So, let’s talk about those who connect their success to some level of discipline. There are a lot of them. They are the ones who can help us. Not many of us can follow the undisciplined folks and get that far. And by numbers, I know more people who think discipline is important than those who do not.
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed, ” —
Ernest Hemmingway
“Dedication makes dreams come true.” —
Kobe Bryant
I believe in hard work and luck, and that the first often leads to the second —
J. K. Rowling.
The summary of this post:
Discipline is commitment that comes from setting new standards for yourself
Secondly, discipline is about having a lot of respect for yourself or your new standard.
While trying to find answers to how to be disciplined, I realized some moments in my life when I had stuck to something difficult and kept at it despite the difficulty or lack of reward.
Two examples came to mind, and I will share them with you if you permit me…
Well, you have to.
First Example: Setting up this blog
I started this blog in 2021 because I started learning SEO. I know a lot of theories about Search Engine Optimization and have some experience working for other professionals, but I wanted to have more, earn more, and do more.
So, I started the blog.
In other words, I set a new standard for myself. I have a picture of what I want to achieve and how blogging every week can help me get there, so I stick with the process. Three years, a hundred posts later, the blog is still running and has brought a few wins.
Coding
I started taking coding seriously in 2023. Today, I can handle a website from scratch and the process from start to finish, depending on what you want to design.
Looking back, I set a standard again for myself to become better. I worked at it every day because I needed more out of what I did. I don’t want to sound like a novice all the time when I am talking about websites and SEOs.
What happens when you set new standards for yourself
Setting new standards starts with being offended or tired about something particular. For example, let’s say a person is tired of being fat and wants to learn how to be disciplined with workouts. First, you need a new standard for yourself, an image of yourself that you want to achieve. The process I am about to explain will work if you’re angry with the current standard you have of yourself. So, each time you are not going to the gym, you look at your current standard and get triggered to do what you have to do.
Don’t worry too hard yet; this will get clearer when I get to the explanation about respect.
For children, discipline is often about using force or an older person or authority always holding them responsible. But it won’t work effectively if the child hasn’t set a new standard for themselves in the first place. If your kid doesn’t see himself as a first-class student, if the idea doesn’t appeal to her, she won’t put in the effort or develop an interest in studying hard. But if your kid likes the idea of being the best student, things get pretty easy for a parent to instill discipline about studying.
In other words, the kids have automatically set a new standard of what they want to be, do, or look like. Being disciplined then becomes way easier.
Someone who wrote 60k words per month
The other day, I found an interesting story on the internet about someone who was into web fiction. They started writing after studying other successful web fiction authors. They understood that what has to be done is to have a volume of work that can last a year or two. So, they got to work and wrote 60k words every month for nearly two years. Then, they started making money after two years and more than 1 million words written.
But this is the part I found interesting. When someone ask the author, how they could pull that off, they answer with something interesting. I will paraphrase them. “I work at a job I don’t like. Writing doesn’t seem as hard as what I was doing at the time.”
In other words, they hate their job. They wanted a new standard for themselves and got to work, churning out, in one month, what would take some people years to write.
So if you want to be disciplined about anything, either working out or food, you have to first set new standards for yourself.
Does your smoking habits make you feel bad? Set a new standard for yourself yourself.
Do you want to become a programmer but don’t have the time? Set a new standard for yourself — that you want to become someone who can write code.
Side note:
If you’re wondering if the writer’s work was great, well, it was not very good at first, but things got better after writing more than 1 million words.. After a lot of feedback and writing, they become great at it. The writer is making good income from it right now after years of work. Which is another way of saying discipline will help you become an expert (if you’re applying deliberate practice, if you’re getting feedback and improving). In fact, I just take you back to the beginning of this post, where I started by drawing a line between being great at what you do and being disciplined.
Respect Yourself — Respect The Standard Your New Standard
Here is a short fictional story.
Meet a girl named Micah. She works at a small restaurant from 9 am to 9 pm every day. She doesn’t like the job. The work was stressful. She missed many get-togethers or evening parties because she was always at work. Then, she began to see people who visited as the kind of people she wanted to become — people who had time after work, people who could afford to pay for expensive dinners. She could not cough that much for dinner without being in debt.
So, she heard about UI/UX design from a friend. She liked what the friend did for a living and was more excited because she could learn it online for as little as $50. She wanted that. But first, she needed a laptop. She wanted to buy one. The one she picked cost about $1000. She planned to save for it twice. She could have bought something cheaper, say an affordable iPad the could use for drawing, but she wanted the best so she could go all in on her goals.
By the end of the month, she had earned the first $500, but something happened. Another friend asked Micah to go on a weekend getaway with her. It cost the same amount as Micah’s savings.
Her discipline is about to be tested.
How respect for your standard works
- People who are disciplined set standards and respect them.
- People who are NOT disciplined would set standards and disrespect them.
Remember, Micah has set a new standard for herself—someone who works normal hours and goes home to her family on time, someone who makes four or five times her current salary.
A disciplined person would look at a decision they wanted to make about something they should be disciplined about. Then, they would decide if they’re indirectly disrespecting the standards they set for themselves in their heads.
If Micah spends the money on holiday, she has broken her standard and will remain a waitress.
If she doesn’t, it means she respects her standard.
It pretty much makes sense to see this pattern. Look at how people go about what they do after they create a goal? Many can’t keep their promises about the goal, and it means they’re disrespecting their standard.
Say you want to stay fit. You have an image of the person you want to become. But each time you have a choice between an unhealthy burger and a fresh fruit, and you choose a burger, that’s a disrespect to yourself. You’re respecting your current standard more than the one you really want.
Say, you want to start writing a book. Your new standard is becoming someone who writes good stuff. You should know that it is disrespectful each time you choose to watch television instead of typing your poorly written first draft.
Disrespect to who?
Not me.
It’s a disrespect to yourself. To your better standard.
Recall any recent TV or podcast interview featuring any famous person. Recall and listen between the lines. You will observe that they hold themselves to a kind of standard that fosters discipline. Ronaldo, Manba, and Lewis Hamilton held themselves to a standard that was so big and strong that they respected it.
You can do the same. That’s how to be disciplined.
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