What happens when you stop being afraid?
Someone who’s expecting a worst-case scenario
Two things happen when you stop being afraid:
You are on the verge of committing suicide or what will look like suicide (more explanation about this later).
Or, you become really bold at saying anything or facing any challenges.
Fear is an important part of life, whether we like to admit it or not. Fear is what makes you look at the road twice before crossing. No sane person wants to be crushed to death by a running vehicle.
THIS IS AN HEAVILY OPINIONATED POST. SO DISREGARD IF YOU DISAGREE.
I have some news for anyone who wants to stop being afraid. Not very good news, but not bad either.
We are born afraid. Not the things that make your parents afraid, but, as a kid, you’re afraid of the dark, Santa Claus, or horror movies, though you might not be afraid of climbing, running on the road alone unguided, climbing the balcony on the upper floor of your grandfather’s house, those things that scare your parents.
Moreover, in our early days, Psychologists like Carl Jung said children depend on their parents as the best friends a kid could have and that even a child sees a parent as an extension of herself, especially mothers who are closer to kids naturally. In other words, for a long time, a kid doesn’t see their mother as another human but an extension of herself. She sees her mother as a part of her to attend to her needs, whether food or water or warmth or getting sleep. This changes gradually as the kids grow. Socializing and responding to situations are things a child learns from her parents. You see toddlers getting paranoid when one of their parents leaves for somewhere, which is a sign of fear. “What am I supposed to do when you’re not here? How do I survive?”
Your relationship with fear starts when you’re young
Look back at your childhood and try to recollect your relationship with your caregiver. It can give you insight into how you handle fear. You can see how they reinforce or help you conquer some fears.
So, you’re an adult now, and your relationship with fear can change if you work on it. I have seen kids go from weak and fearful as a child to full-blown hero or someone who doesn’t have much fear anymore. In my experience, which you shouldn’t take as facts, kids who are extremely fearless when they’re young are less likely to become fearful adults unless something really, really traumatic changes them.
So, back to our question: what happens when you stop being Afraid?
You become a badass. You become partly deaf to criticism because there are specific criticisms you won’t take. A group of people call you arrogant. Another set will call you ambitious or in a class of its own.
You are on a mission. This is a great feeling.
A few things that can help you in this stage:
- Hygiene
- Talent
- A viable source of income (that usually isn’t tied to one person or authority that can take away your confidence)
- You get your worst fears covered…
The last one is my favorite. Some people stop being afraid of what could go wrong because they have figured it out and plan for it. They have it covered. Whatever fear they have, the strongest ones, they already planned (or someone did on their behalf) and created a solution.
Check out: How to handle loneliness.
Another version of not being Afraid is Suicide or what looks like it.
In other words, you start doing risky things for fun — wild parties, drunk driving, driving recklessly, having sex with anyone and everything, or doing drugs.
In each of these cases, you know the consequences of your actions. Maybe not fully if, for instance, you’re a teenager.
But most adults who engage in these things and laugh while at it are on another level of not being afraid, which is likely crossing the line.
I think people in this category can be grouped into two.
- One is those who just go out and commit suicide.
- The other group is people disguising their suicides technically or gradually.
This doesn’t mean everyone who does wild parties, drinks, or drives recklessly is suicidal. Just when these things that have 75 percent of killing the person are taken with a weird display of joy and an attitude of excitement, that’s so irrational, there is a tendency that they’re trying to disguise an untimely death.
How can you get into the first one and not the second?
There is a simple answer: Face your core fears.
Think about it. What is the worst thing that can happen to you?
How can you prevent that from happening?
The best approach is to start taking action in this regard long before the fears even have the potential to materialize.
Afraid of not having a child when you turn 40? Maybe freeze your eggs, save them for adoption, or have a child already.
Afraid of being incarcerated by the government of your country? Move to another country.
Afraid of being broke? Invest in assets that can generate income for life.
The other answers are longer and include doing many things and caring for your body and mind. Eat well and consume good content. We can break that into several guides, or I can recommend a hundred books, and they won’t be enough. I love summaries, though. So, go out and figure out what feeding your mind and body good stuff means.